Its Okay To Not Be Okay

By: Tiara Blain | February 28, 2023

When asked, “how are you doing” I'm pretty sure you find yourself instinctively replying, “I’m okay,” even when you aren’t. Well, I’m here to tell you, and myself, the time to stop pretending is now. It’s okay to not be okay!

We all wear so many different hats in life - friend, spouse, parent, child, worker, caretaker, etc. With the many responsibilities and expectations we create for ourselves, we don’t always allow the opportunity to take a moment to evaluate our feelings. The truth of the matter is, sometimes we just don’t feel okay about how our lives are going or a situation that has occurred but we don’t always acknowledge this or give ourselves permission to be in our feelings. You may think you are being irrational, exaggerative, or even weak, but it’s important not to judge yourself.

What you deserve at this very moment in time is a small vacay from the world around you to do a bit of self-exploration. Pack some self-love to take a journey to a place where you can unpack your feelings. We often put up a front about how we feel, but why?

In this article, you will find steps to healthily process your feelings during times when you just aren’t feeling okay.

5 Stages To Overcome Unhappy Feelings

There will be moments in your life when you’re depressed, sad, and just not okay, and guess what? - That’s okay! These feelings are normal. You just have to get to the other side of them; the only way to do that is to go through them.

It will probably take you a few steps to return to a happier place. Here’s a layout of how to healthily process periods in your life when you feel unhappy.

Acknowledgment

First, you must acknowledge that we aren’t feeling our best. It is so easy to get caught up in auto-drive, not realizing how we are really feeling, and then crashing. It is so important to reflect and be aware of our emotions.

Acceptance

Acceptance is essential for healing. Understanding that this is where you are at this state in your life and accepting that, knowing that it’s okay for right now.

Processing

Don’t try too hard to rush yourself out of what you are going through. Feel your feelings and process your grief, trauma, and hardship. This may involve speaking with a loved-one or therapist to dissect your emotions.

Progression

When it is the right time to move forward, begin to transition into a state of mindful thinking. Try to practice self-affirmation, meditate on positive thoughts, and attempt to establish a non-toxic environment with limited stress.

Growth

Allow yourself to exhibit self-growth from negative experiences. Each obstacle faced offers the opportunity to learn more about your inner self and establish healthier thinking methods.

You Got This!

Throughout every stage, remember to practice self-compassion by speaking kindly and thinking positively about yourself. It’s okay to be sad sometimes, and it’s okay that things aren’t going the way you expected or hoped. Don’t let situations in life cause you to treat yourself badly. This is a battle we all are constantly fighting. Let’s take pride in our good and bad days because they both contribute to self-growth.

If your feelings persist, consider speaking with a mental health professional to understand the next steps to help with feeling more like yourself.

Remember, you may not be okay right now but don’t be discouraged; your future is bright and full of happy moments. For now, the mission is to cut yourself some slack and work towards understanding your emotions and why you may be feeling the way you do.

We often put up a front about how we are doing, but why? You don’t need to always wear a brave face; allow yourself to feel your feelings!

Reference

Neff K, Davidson O. Chapter 14: Embracing suffering with kindness. In Neff K, Davidson O. ed. Mindfulness in Positive Psychology. Routledge; 2016.